TOEIC攻略ステップアップガイド Part13：ビジネスライティング – 説得力のある文書作成術

AIDA原則：説得力のある文書の基本骨格

• Attention (注意を引く): 強いインパクトのある書き出しで読者の興味を引く
• Interest (関心を高める): 読者に関連する情報や利益を示し、関心を維持する
• Desire (欲求を喚起する): 具体的なメリットを示し、行動への欲求を高める
• Action (行動を促す): 明確な次のステップやリクエストを示す

例文:
– The purpose of this report is to analyze the effectiveness of our new marketing strategy.
– This email outlines the steps we need to take to improve customer satisfaction.
– I am writing to request your approval for the project budget increase.
– This proposal aims to demonstrate how we can reduce operational costs by 15%.
– The objective of this presentation is to provide an overview of our Q3 performance.

例文:
– First and foremost, we need to address the declining sales in the European market.
– In addition to cost savings, this approach will also improve efficiency.
– Furthermore, our research indicates strong potential in emerging markets.
– However, we must consider the potential risks associated with this strategy.
– Consequently, I recommend increasing our investment in digital marketing.
– In conclusion, the data clearly supports our decision to expand into the Asian market.

例文:
– According to our market research, 65% of customers prefer our new product design.
– The data indicates a 20% increase in website traffic following the campaign launch.
– As shown in the attached graph, our sales have consistently improved over the past six months.
– Based on customer feedback, we have identified three key areas for improvement.
– Evidence suggests that implementing these changes will result in a 15% cost reduction.

例文:
– I recommend that we proceed with the system upgrade in the third quarter.
– We suggest implementing the new training program across all departments.
– It would be advisable to postpone the product launch until market conditions improve.
– The most effective approach would be to focus on our core customers first.
– I propose scheduling a meeting next week to discuss these findings in detail.

よく使われる表現:

• I am writing to inform you that… (ご連絡申し上げます)
• Please find attached… (添付ファイルをご確認ください)
• I would appreciate it if you could… (〜していただければ幸いです)
• Please let me know if you have any questions. (ご質問があればお知らせください)
• I look forward to hearing from you. (ご返信をお待ちしております)

よく使われる表現:

• TO: All Staff (宛先: 全スタッフ)
• RE: Updated Company Policy (件名: 会社ポリシーの更新について)
• Effective immediately… (即時発効)
• Please be advised that… (以下をご了承ください)
• For further information, contact… (詳細については〜にお問い合わせください)

よく使われる表現:

• Executive Summary (エグゼクティブサマリー)
• The findings indicate that… (調査結果によると…)
• Based on the analysis… (分析に基づいて…)
• It is recommended that… (…することが推奨されます)
• In conclusion,… (結論として、…)

よく使われる表現:

• Limited time offer! (期間限定オファー！)
• Save up to 50% (最大50%オフ)
• Don’t miss this opportunity (このチャンスをお見逃しなく)
• For more information, visit… (詳細は…をご覧ください)
• Terms and conditions apply (規約が適用されます)

よく使われる表現:

• Please fill in all required fields (必須項目をすべて記入してください)
• For official use only (担当者記入欄)
• Submit by [date] ([日付]までに提出してください)
• Incomplete forms will not be processed (不完全なフォームは処理されません)
• I hereby certify that… (ここに…であることを証明します)

問題例1: メールの目的に関する問題

From: Sarah Johnson <sjohnson@globaltechcorp.com>
To: Development Team <dev-team@globaltechcorp.com>
Subject: Upcoming Software Release – Schedule Change

Dear Development Team,

I am writing to inform you of a change to our upcoming software release schedule. Due to feedback from our beta testers, we have identified several critical issues that need to be addressed before the public release.

As a result, we have decided to postpone the release date from May 15 to June 5. This will give us three additional weeks to resolve the identified issues and conduct more thorough testing.

Please adjust your work schedules accordingly and prioritize the bug fixes listed in the attached document. If you have any concerns about meeting the new deadline, please contact me as soon as possible.

Thank you for your understanding and continued hard work.

Best regards,
Sarah Johnson
Product Manager

What is the main purpose of this email?
(A) To announce a new software product
(B) To notify the team of a schedule change
(C) To request feedback from beta testers
(D) To assign new development tasks

解説: このメールの主な目的は、ソフトウェアリリースの日程変更を開発チームに通知することです。メールの冒頭部分に「I am writing to inform you of a change to our upcoming software release schedule.」と明確に書かれています。よって正解は (B) です。

問題例2: 複数の文書を比較する問題

Document 1: Email
From: Marcus Chen <mchen@innovatech.com>
To: Procurement Department <procurement@innovatech.com>
Subject: Office Supply Vendor Recommendation

After reviewing proposals from multiple vendors, I recommend that we select OfficeMax Solutions as our new office supply provider. They offer competitive pricing, a wide range of products, and excellent customer service. Additionally, their online ordering system would streamline our procurement process. Please let me know your thoughts on this recommendation.

Document 2: Response Email
From: Procurement Department <procurement@innovatech.com>
To: Marcus Chen <mchen@innovatech.com>
Subject: Re: Office Supply Vendor Recommendation

Thank you for your recommendation regarding OfficeMax Solutions. While we appreciate your input, we have concerns about their delivery schedule, which may not meet our immediate needs. Before making a final decision, we would like to see a comparison of all vendor proposals, focusing particularly on price, product range, and delivery timeframes. Could you please provide this information by Friday?

What does the Procurement Department want Marcus to do?
(A) Select OfficeMax Solutions as the vendor
(B) Contact other vendors for better prices
(C) Provide a comparison of all vendor proposals
(D) Arrange a meeting with OfficeMax Solutions

解説: 調達部門は、「Before making a final decision, we would like to see a comparison of all vendor proposals…Could you please provide this information by Friday?」と述べており、すべてのベンダー提案の比較を求めています。よって正解は (C) です。

改善例:
× New procedures have been implemented.
○ We have implemented new procedures that will help you process customer orders more efficiently.

ポイント: 受身形から能動形に変え、読者（あなた）にとってのメリットを明示することで、より説得力が増します。

改善例:
× It is highly recommended that consideration be given to the implementation of the new accounting software system by all departments in the near future.
○ All departments should implement the new accounting software system within the next month.

ポイント: 冗長な表現を削除し、直接的で簡潔な文に変えることで、メッセージが明確になります。

改善例:
× There will be a meeting about the project on Tuesday.
○ We will discuss the project on Tuesday at 10 AM in Conference Room A.

ポイント: 「be」動詞ではなく、より具体的で強い動詞（discuss）を使い、詳細情報を追加することで、より明確な内容になります。

テクニック:

• 箇条書きを活用する: 複数の項目や手順を列挙する際は箇条書きを使うと読みやすくなります。
• 段落を短くする: 1つの段落は2-3文程度にとどめ、1つのアイデアに焦点を当てます。
• 見出しを使う: 長い文書は見出しで区切ると、構造が明確になります。
• 空白を効果的に使う: 段落間や項目間に適切な空白を設けると、視覚的に読みやすくなります。

ビジネスライティング力強化のための3つのアクション

1. モデル文書を収集・分析する：効果的なビジネスメールや報告書の例を集め、その構造や表現を分析しましょう。英語のビジネスメールテンプレートが掲載されているウェブサイトなどを活用すると良いでしょう。
2. 実際にビジネス文書を書く練習をする：架空のシナリオを設定し、ビジネスメールや報告書を英語で書く練習をしましょう。書いた文書は、可能であれば英語が堪能な人に添削してもらいましょう。
3. 英語ニュースサイトの記事を要約する：英語のビジネスニュースサイト（BBC Business, CNNMoney, Financial Times など）の記事を読み、その内容を100語程度の英語で要約する練習をしましょう。これによって、簡潔に要点をまとめる力が身につきます。